I am Feeling Sad !!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is sadness ? To me it was one which defines a sublime state of mind. Yes indeed i stand by my definition and find myself dislodged from my current state of mind. But i intent to answer, Am i responsible for this feeling ???
No !!!!!!! I am not my reasons inline:

1. Weather - Its been 7 Days i.e. a week straight gone pouring, engulfed with heavy clouds , darkness paving way to confinement in house. Resulting in leisure work from home least realizing encouraging lethargy.

Remedy - I prayed to god for a better weather turned down my request for his selfish deliverable to the planet earth.

2. Emotions - Thought to pamper myself with indulging in some shopping and pull strings to keep myself busy from the lowness mounting to engulf me.

Remedy - Confided about it to the ones who meant the most in this world , but got nagged and made accountable for debts over happiness.

3. Authority- Went to ask for something which was indeed my right, but nudged down without keeping in respect my emotions and my happiness. Repetitive schedule- Has been prolonging for now more than six years.

Remedy- Tried to convey, was taken wrong made to believe that i am a human who is insane. Who is above the lords of human desire and happiness. So was asked to keep quite and shut because i am not the one who can demand materialistic happiness because i have attained Nirvana.


For once i felt i left myself, for once i felt i forgot myself, for once i felt encouraging ignorance to my happiness, for once i felt i cannot be selfish, for once i felt i cannot be materialistic, for once i felt i cannot afford to think for my own being.

I let loose- I take with today , some learning of being myself first, me first, my desires, my wants, my thoughts , my happiness
I need to pull myself together to keep away from a day which i faced today. I have to believe in myself have to now think of no other than the word "ME" :)